Posts rated: 3 - Furious
Give me maps or give me death.
Furious - Posted on January 28, 2015 — 2 min read
There are some things in life that are annoying, their are some that are infuriating. The difference is often how hard it would be for some idle bureaucrat fix the bloody issue. When constructing a public transport network its prudent to have more than one line, maybe as many as 4, each with a few stops! Which presents a problem, how will a passenger know which on to take to get where they want to go?
Communists of the world annoy!
Furious - Posted on June 20, 2009 — 4 min read
Resigned to my fate of 8 hours on a plane for a trip to the USo’A I packed my bags and casually made my way to the aerodrome, with what I assumed was plenty of time, for I do so hate to be late. On arrival I was greeted with a scene more akin to, what I imagine, a Morrisons supermarket might look like on cheap gin Wednesday. People everywhere, most of them looking confused and irate whilst trying desperately to work out which queue to join. One hapless drunk/traveller even had the temerity to screech at an overly made up employee who happened to be passing:
I knew you should never trust a gasheads.
Furious - Posted on February 18, 2009 — 6 min read
Several days ago I received a lovely letter from Mr Gas man, he politely informed me that:
Big box, little box, big box, little box.
Furious - Posted on January 26, 2009 — 4 min read
It will come as no surprise to learn that using the public highways, in all their glorious forms, gives rise to an incredible amount of potential rage. Almost all the users of said roads are clearly out to cause as much outrage as is humanly possible during their pointless journeys. This is especially true of the ones that are on trips to drop their darling little Tarquins and Tabithas off at their local prep schools in cars so big I’m surprised they can even see whether the kid is sat in it or not such is the distance from window to seat.
Slow coach double whammy
Furious - Posted on January 12, 2009 — 4 min read
After a fine hour or two perusing the fine fare on the aisle of my local supermarket I took my trolley, laden with goodies (and non alcoholic beer), towards the checkout in an endeavour to pay.
Beer outrage
Furious - Posted on December 4, 2008 — 4 min read
I wended my way to Westfield again in a vain effort to keep the ailing economy on it’s feet, such a financial hero that I am. I decided that lunch was the order of the day and so descended upon Pho, a pseudo Vietnamese noodle bar establishment.
Paper
Furious - Posted on December 17, 2008 — 3 min read
"Mummy, do you have some paper”
Super Fruit.
Furious - Posted on November 24, 2008 — 4 min read
I’ve been feeling under the weather for a couple of days, racked with a terrible ague, struck down with a horrifying case of the pox, cursed with a vile bout of plague! Oh OK, I was feeling a bit ill, probably a slight cold or something, maybe the dreaded man flu… who knows.
Wow this is a nice house.
Furious - Posted on November 20, 2008 — 5 min read
In an effort to keep the ailing Westfield open during this credit crisis I have committed to spending as much time and money there as possible. With this in mind I hotfooted it there again yesterday to throw away some hard earned pennies on an evening of tasty Mexican food and tastier Mexican beer at Wahaca with an old friend. It was quite a pleasant venue, for about 12 seconds, until a rage was induced by the serving staff. Firstly they did that infuriating, I presume American, thing of telling me their name and job title.
Tube woe.
Furious - Posted on November 15, 2008 — 4 min read
The tube has been causing much angst in the last two days. Firstly, yesterday I had to suffer the audio atrocity that was a busker at Notting Hill station. Now, as you might imagine, I’m not a fan of buskers at the best of times, they all fall in to two camps, the awful and the very awful. OK, that’s a lie, some of them do have a talent, it’s just a talent I never want to hear whilst whisking myself about Londontown on public transport. This is a fact that will remain true until the day I catch some underground minimal tech house Djing action, a day I never expect to see.
We are at war people, WAR I say!!
Furious - Posted on November 7, 2008 — 4 min read
My body, my brain and I have been at loggerheads of late, I try to mediate between the two but there is no joy it seems. They are determined to stitch each other up at every available opportunity.
A tale of two Donnies and an Oyster
Furious - Posted on October 19, 2008 — 4 min read
The other day as I was making my way to work I had a slight spot of oyster bother. It seemed that there was some trouble reading my card. Beep beep beep but no joy, eventually however the barriers deigned to do a red sea and part for me thus giving me access to the wonderful tube network.
Planet haters.
Furious - Posted on October 16, 2008 — 3 min read
Hello dear cleaners, I’ve a few pointers on how to do your job. Now, I’m not telling you how to do your job of course, no that would be rude but there are some, well one really, basic tips that I think you might like to follow to avoid future savage beatings by desperately hung over staff fervently seeking rehydration. 1) STOP STEALING THINGS FROM MY DESK!
Size does matter.
Furious - Posted on October 9, 2008 — 4 min read
Casting my mide back to the days of yore (just before the Jacobean era I believe, it was all green fields and rolling hills at the very least) I remember fondly going shopping as a youth to some ghastly supermarché or other (before Carrefore seemed to disappear from British shores). During such shopping sprees items would be purchased, amongst which would be washing powder, that would come in bloody huge weighty boxes. Boxes which I quickly learnt from scanning the active compounds contained about 10% cationic and non-ionic surfactants, that’s soap to you and me, the rest consisted of this and that, whiteners, water balancers and so on but a whopping 50% ish was pure filler. Nothing a all to do with washing, just their to make the box look big and the value better. What a scam, I was lugging bazillions of kilo’s of nothing about, and paying (well a parent was paying, but that’s my inheritance they were squandering) for the displeasure of back ache. I felt bitter, cheated and enraged.
Youts on the loose.
Furious - Posted on October 26, 2008 — 4 min read
Once upon a time, a one, Vincent Gambini had cause to defend a couple of youts who had been wrongly accused of murdering the sack of suds store clerk. Luckily, no one can pull the wool over the eyes of a Gambini and these youts were cleared of murder once we learn about a thing or two about positraction and 1960’s metallic mint green convertibles. However, to two urchins I was forced to encounter this weekend were clearly guilty, of many many crimes…
Oyster FAIL.
Furious - Posted on September 25, 2008 — 3 min read
Right so buses are quite useful, however you do have to pay to use them, getting on one, swiping your oyster card and reviving a FAIL notice would suggest that you have not paid and thus don’t deserve travel. Standing there arguing with the beleaguered driver won’t change this fact, claiming that you have £10 on your card holds little water in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. The fact that your retarded friends have paid and gone up the stairs whilst shouting after you to hurry up won’t change the fact that you have failed to gain admission to this wonderful transport mechanism.
Salubrious West Ealing in bloom
Furious - Posted on September 12, 2008 — 3 min read
Not only are there no busses (apart from the 83, more on that in a bit) this morning due to some strike or other, I have to witness the curious act of the council fixing brackets and hanging baskets of flowers from my local street lights… Now call me seasonally naïve but isn’t spring or summer not better the time to do this. Surely this catastrophic waste of money will result in pots of dead flowers in a few weeks and a sense that the whole place is a festering craphole (silence Andy) so bad that that they can’t be bothered to take away the springs now long dead flower baskets. That and they were not even very nice ones, too much green not enough flower.