Raging into the void

Posts from: October, 2008

A tale of two Donnies and an Oyster

Furious - Posted on October 19, 2008 4 min read

The other day as I was making my way to work I had a slight spot of oyster bother. It seemed that there was some trouble reading my card. Beep beep beep but no joy, eventually however the barriers deigned to do a red sea and part for me thus giving me access to the wonderful tube network.

Yes…. I am sure.

Apoplectic - Posted on October 12, 2008 4 min read

I made the mistake of visiting Tescos today whilst shopping in Ealingtown. Well, you might say two mistakes, firstly entered the vile place, secondly I selected some non-alcoholic booze from the shelf, but I have a good reason for the second error… honest…

The internet is dead.

Apoplectic - Posted on October 27, 2008 4 min read

That’s it people, the internet is no longer useful, we might as just stop the whole thing now and shut it down. We can use the soon to be empty internet tubes to pipe maple syrup into everyone’s home to facilitate tastier pancakes for all.

Lo sgombro non e’ piu’ disponibile

Angry - Posted on October 22, 2008 2 min read

I went out for dinner yesterday, it was a nice evening, food was wolfed, booze was swilled, conversation was had.

No, it seems you can’t help me.

Incandescent Rage - Posted on October 20, 2008 4 min read

In an effort to not have more tube based barrier angst I thought it might be a good idea to call up my credit card people and do something about this stupid card thing.

Planet haters.

Furious - Posted on October 16, 2008 3 min read

Hello dear cleaners, I’ve a few pointers on how to do your job. Now, I’m not telling you how to do your job of course, no that would be rude but there are some, well one really, basic tips that I think you might like to follow to avoid future savage beatings by desperately hung over staff fervently seeking rehydration. 1) STOP STEALING THINGS FROM MY DESK!

Size does matter.

Furious - Posted on October 9, 2008 4 min read

Casting my mide back to the days of yore (just before the Jacobean era I believe, it was all green fields and rolling hills at the very least) I remember fondly going shopping as a youth to some ghastly supermarché or other (before Carrefore seemed to disappear from British shores). During such shopping sprees items would be purchased, amongst which would be washing powder, that would come in bloody huge weighty boxes. Boxes which I quickly learnt from scanning the active compounds contained about 10% cationic and non-ionic surfactants, that’s soap to you and me, the rest consisted of this and that, whiteners, water balancers and so on but a whopping 50% ish was pure filler. Nothing a all to do with washing, just their to make the box look big and the value better. What a scam, I was lugging bazillions of kilo’s of nothing about, and paying (well a parent was paying, but that’s my inheritance they were squandering) for the displeasure of back ache. I felt bitter, cheated and enraged.

Vote NOW!!!

Enraged - Posted on October 1, 2008 3 min read

It’s your duty to start voting now! There are some very important issues at stake. You see, we NEED to know the answer to many, many, questions. Which is better, Canada or the USoA*, Sweden or Norway**, My feckless ex school co-atendees or the feckless ingrates that went to the other local plebeian educational establishment***.

I knew going to work was a bad idea.

Enraged - Posted on October 7, 2008 2 min read

Firstly when going to work I like to be able to leave my house, I say like, I mean have to in order to get paid. Trouble is some obnoxious Toyota hilux (huge wanky pickup truck thing) owning oik keeps parking in my little side road making it almost impossible to get past.

Worst… week… ever…

Enraged - Posted on October 11, 2008 4 min read

Whilst idly drifting towards Waitrose this after noon enjoying the winter sun I was narrowly pipped to the trolley rank by some bumbling old buffoon who grabbed the first trolley. They then proceeded to just stand there faffing about with some tat left by the previous shopper rather than getting the hell out of my way so I could get a trolley and proceed to stocking up on tasty fare. Luckily for them I managed to contain the anger just long enough and did not just barge them out the way and kick them to the ground as a salutary lesson in moving on expediently.

Yellow Shop.

Angry - Posted on October 3, 2008 3 min read

Sometimes its good to treat oneself to a nice contractor lunch and idly wonder what it’s like to be rich enough to afford special yellow shop food every day. Whilst idly wondering such thing, with hot food in hand, in the queue waiting to hand over half the GDP of Djibouti for the can of fancy Italian beverage and a couple of slices of pizza what I don’t want to see is some stupid bint at the till trying to pay for a dozen different meals in complicated set of combined transactions.

Youts on the loose.

Furious - Posted on October 26, 2008 4 min read

Once upon a time, a one, Vincent Gambini had cause to defend a couple of youts who had been wrongly accused of murdering the sack of suds store clerk. Luckily, no one can pull the wool over the eyes of a Gambini and these youts were cleared of murder once we learn about a thing or two about positraction and 1960’s metallic mint green convertibles. However, to two urchins I was forced to encounter this weekend were clearly guilty, of many many crimes…