Posts rated: 2 - Apoplectic
Taxis
Apoplectic - Posted on May 12, 2015 — 2 min read
Taxis, wonderful things, will scoop you up at any time of day or night and whisk you to your destination in some level of comfort.
How about I just jam my fingers in the socket?
Apoplectic - Posted on December 22, 2009 — 5 min read
So I live in a flat, a flat that’s in lovely Londontown, as such it’s got this wonderful new thing plumbed in. The awe inspiring amazement that is electricity!
Do you mind if I just take a crap on your face?
Apoplectic - Posted on October 19, 2009 — 4 min read
Sometime last week I awoke from a pleasant Sunday slumber with a bout of minor back arghhh. A twinge of pain, a spasm of ache, but nothing too bad, I ignored it and hopped onto the bike and popped to work for a day of exciting graft. Later that day after 7 hours of fun filled keyboard tapping I made my way home. I rustled up a tasty dinner and sat down to watch some guff on the TV or play some game or other. Life was good, well briefly occupied with some pointless activity at least; I decided to celebrate with a yoghurt! I got up and skipped to the fridge, only I didn’t, I ended up hobbling like an old man, bent double with back knack. Ow ow ow! Bollocks, I’ve finally broken myself, so this is the future is it.
Are you a criminal?
Apoplectic - Posted on August 10, 2009 — 4 min read
So I was in delightful Bristoltown at the weekend to take in a boat trip, spy some balloon and imbibe some local booze in the form of cider.
Change! No, it seems we can’t!
Apoplectic - Posted on February 24, 2009 — 3 min read
Nothing is more likely to send someone into a rage as change. Not just any kind of change mind you. Some change is great, a change of bed sheets is ace, a change of salary, in the upward direction, is always welcome, a change in job can herald a wonderful change in life.
Bus hag
Apoplectic - Posted on November 26, 2008 — 4 min read
In my state of continued mild addledness I thought it better to get the nice warm bus to work again today. What a woeful error, for the more you use the chav wagon, the more chance there is to be infuriated by one of the morons that use them. Today my luck failed me again and I was forced to deal with a crazy old woman, you know the type, gets on the bus, mutters to themselves for the whole journey, blunders about like they own the thing always gets a seat in the end as people shuffle to the other side of the bus just to avoid a conversation.
Yes…. I am sure.
Apoplectic - Posted on October 12, 2008 — 4 min read
I made the mistake of visiting Tescos today whilst shopping in Ealingtown. Well, you might say two mistakes, firstly entered the vile place, secondly I selected some non-alcoholic booze from the shelf, but I have a good reason for the second error… honest…
The internet is dead.
Apoplectic - Posted on October 27, 2008 — 4 min read
That’s it people, the internet is no longer useful, we might as just stop the whole thing now and shut it down. We can use the soon to be empty internet tubes to pipe maple syrup into everyone’s home to facilitate tastier pancakes for all.
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
Apoplectic - Posted on September 27, 2008 — 3 min read
There are several things you don’t want to experience whilst staggering about Ealingtown catastrophically hung over from the previous night’s Gin bender. One of those is being asked to spare 5 minutes for charity, luckily this was not a problem today. Another thing you don’t want it a flaming racket being blared into both ears, especially when each ear is recieveing it’s own different din.
Crocs and socks, yeah.
Apoplectic - Posted on September 21, 2008 — 2 min read
One, youth, learn to damn well speak or at least if you must talk before gaining the basic skills in communication at least don’t speak loudly on buses into your stupid mobile phones about absolute crap. Also punctuation does not need to be spoken aloud and “yeah” is not a bloody punctuation mark even if, whilst I slept in today, the rules of spoken punctuation have suddenly changed. Also sitting on a bus talking about the best way to “do” a girl is somewhat less than ideal.