What made Brian angry today?

Sometimes its good to treat oneself to a nice contractor lunch and idly wonder what it’s like to be rich enough to afford special yellow shop food every day. Whilst idly wondering such thing, with hot food in hand, in the queue waiting to hand over half the GDP of Djibouti for the can of fancy Italian beverage and a couple of slices of pizza what I don’t want to see is some stupid bint at the till trying to pay for a dozen different meals in complicated set of combined transactions.

“Right, I’ll pay for this, a pizza and this drink with this tenner.”
“Ok now how about we go for these two pastas and this biscuit with this tenner.”
“Ok almost done, right well have 3 pastas and a punch in the face from an irate shopper with this tenner.”
“trust me love, the punch is free. If you’re lucky there might be a secial 2 for 1 offer on too”

GET OUT OF THE WAY!

Just pay for it in one go then sort out your bloody change afterwards you purchase retardant. The rest of us don’t want to sit there waiting hours for you to buy a few things cause you are too dense to do a little post purchase maths.

Although that’s not as annoying as the person clogging up the other till mind.

“Hello can I pay for these”
“yes, that’s £4.95”
“here, take this plastic card thing and charge it directly to my bank account”
“Oh I’m terribly sorry there is a minimum purchase of £5 on plastic card things”
“WHAT, IT’S JUST 5P!!!!, OH JUST CHARGE ME FIVE POUNDS THEN, GOD”

I don’t care if it’s 1p, the sign clearly states the limit, just cause you can’t read is no reason to get all huffy with the poor swamped till person. If you don’t like it, fuck off to Tesco’s with the rest of the plebs and leave me to dream of richer times in the peace and tranquillity yellow shop’s prices warrant.

It’s your duty to start voting now! There are some very important issues at stake. You see, we NEED to know the answer to many, many, questions. Which is better, Canada or the USoA*, Sweden or Norway**, My feckless ex school co-atendees or the feckless ingrates that went to the other local plebeian educational establishment***.

The big question of course is how to decide the answer to such important things, how indeed?

We could get together a bunch of academics to do some in-depth analysis into the two groups and define some qualitative measures between the two to determine which would give the bet results in some given situations and thus see which would be better. I mean, it’s always going to be a judgement call, but you can make some broad sweeping statements maybe.

However, that’s all in the past now, for a, new, bold method has been created, yes the kind people of Facebook have inadvertently solved all future arguments, for ever. All you do, is crate two groups, invite people to join either of the groups and there you have it. PROOF that one thing is better than the other.

Either that, or you end up with a bunch of feckless wankers banding together for no good reason other than by virtue of where they grew up indulging in some kind of tedious text based egotistical masturbatory self aggrandisement group.

If I wanted to extol the virtues of my former school over another, I probably would not rely on how many moronic past attendees I could dupe into clicking a button on a stupid website.

*Canada
**Sweden
***The other one, results clearly show this, get over it.